i can only imagine

I Can Only Imagine
By Mercyme

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you






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If you would like to listen to the song as performed by Ronnie Kimball, click here: "IMAGINE" Have a good day.

three yellow roses

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn't hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 57 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories. He often came with me and almost every time he'd pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I'd always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands. He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since he had passed on. Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how he had loved his steak. Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large package of T-bones, dropped them in her basket.. hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me watching her and she smiled. "My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don't know." I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. "My husband passed away eight days ago," I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. "Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together." She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away. I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A Quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice cream cone. I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine. As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. "These are for you," she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. "When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for." She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she'd done, what the roses meant, but I was still unable to speak, I watched her walk away as the tears clouded my vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn't alone. Oh, you haven't forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings. Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.
Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible. Thank you, Lord , that I can see. Many are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising. Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.
Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud. Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.
Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced. Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.
Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.
Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest. Thank you, Lord, for life.

And Remember that a friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift. A friend is someone to treasure. For friendship is a gift. A friend is someone who fills our lives with Beauty, Joy and Grace and makes the world we live in a better and happier place. Have A Good Day.

full of want...

i want my normal routine back, i want to have less pain, i want to be inspired to write something worth reading. i would like to be more comfortable, i would like to improve my site and generate more readers. i want something worth saying. but right now i want pizza. peace.

neglect...

I’ve been neglecting this site lately, I haven’t been feeling well and I can’t seem to focus long enough to do anything. i've been getting these antibiotic shots everyday and they make me sick (i think i have 3 or 4 more days left) I miss writing and spending a little time each day thinking about such things, hopefully I’ll be back on track soon and back to my old routine.

he did fine...

i think george w. bush did fine last night. i don't agree with every thing he said, he mentioned a lot of the same things that theodore roosevelt did almost 100 years ago. if you are going to come to america, then be an american. do it legally and assimilate to being an american, learn english and follow our laws and fly our flag. and he ended his speech with, "One Nation Under God".

and right now that's good enough for me.

not so hot

i don't feel well today, physically and mentally. i'm in a bad mood, taking things to seriously. i've got the shakes again. you'd think that i was detoxing or something. i'm uncomfotable in just about everything i do today. my stomach is doing hula-hoops around my colan. and my left foot is swollen so bad it feels like it's going to pop. it will go away soon i hope. if i had a cat i would probably kick it.

another bad day

i know this is a little late for friday but it's been one of those days. first off i slept in, that doesn't happen often, and when i woke up i was in a full blown panic attack (i like to call them anxiety attacks) panic sounds kind of sissyfied (sp?) i couldn't breath, the panic wasn't that bad but the no breathing was hell. it was one of the worst ones i'd ever had. the last doctor i saw a few weks ago said that the attacks were a symptom of sleep apnea, that would have been nice if the other doctors i'd been seeing for over ten years would have mentioned that. a reason for them would go a long way in dealing with them, i'm one who needs to have answes to such things. it took me a while to get the breathing under control, i wont go into an explanation because i don't think there is one, it took me the rest of the morning to get over the doom and gloom of it. not a good feeling, i called my sister to help me through it, she was at work and was ready to walk out, i think i scared her a bit. i told her it would be over by the time she got here. it was getting better knowing she was getting ready to mess up her job. i could not stand having that on my shoulders. i hope she knows how much she helped just listening to me freak out, it must have been ugly. i'm tired now but sort of worried it will happen a gain, which is bad because worry brings them on, i think. it's 12:38 AM now maybe i'll sleep, maybe not.

psalm 23 -- an old stand by

Psa 23:1
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Psa 23:2
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Psa 23:3
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Psa 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psa 23:5
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Psa 23:6
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Amen

the lord's prayer

Book of Common Prayer (1928)

Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.
Amen.

a joyful heart...

"A joyful heart is good medicine" Proverbs 17:20-22

Three things to give some thought to…

1- Zero Gravity:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 degrees Celsius.
The Russians used a pencil.
When your taxes are due again -- enjoy paying them.

2 - Our Constitution:

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

3 - Ten Commandments:

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.

Have a Smile and a Good Day.

feed them wisely

Two Wolves

One evening an old Indian Man told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "my son, inside us all rages the battle between two wolves."

One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

The boy thought about it for a moment then asked, " but Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The old Indian simply replied, "The one you feed my son."

(This was sent to me by my friend Babs.)

King James

Then spake Jesus again unto them saying, I am the light of the world: he that shall followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
John 8:12

King James

But I say unto you which hear. Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.
Luke 6:27

King James

The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry.
Psalm 34:15

worth repeating

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores.

They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her, "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we all are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with, "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to Hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mails and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how if you were to e-mail this message, you would not send it to everyone on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

a-s-a-p

Ever wonder about the abbreviation A.S.A.P.? Generally we think of it in terms of being even more in a hurry and adding stress to our lives. Maybe if we think of this abbreviation in a different manner, we will begin to find a new way to deal with those rough days along the way.

There's work to do, deadlines to meet; You've got no time to spare, but as you hurry and scurry - ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

In the midst of family chaos, "quality time" is rare. Do your best; Let God do the rest - ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

It may seem like your worries are more than you can bear; Slow down and take a breather - ASAP - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

God knows how stressful life is; He wants to ease our cares, and He'll respond to all your needs A.S.A.P. - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER.

the sneeze

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt. Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears. This class would not be praying during the commencements -- not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it. The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families. The speeches were nice, but they were routine... until the final speech received a standing ovation. A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!! The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, " GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage... The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval. This is supposed to be a true story but I don't know for sure. It was supposed to have happened at a school in Maryland. I like it none the less either way.
Now here is where I might not act in a Christian manner. Whether it be in a school, post office, work, public building state or otherwise, or anywhere in America for that matter, let someone try and tell me I can not PRAY or WORSHIP when and where I choose. They better be prepared to stand down or take a Redneck Country Ass Whipping. That is the most ridiculous thing ever in the history of the United States. I can not pray because I might offend someone but I am not supposed to be offended because I can not. What has become of us? It is just wrong and there is nothing else to say.

if no one alse reads my blog, i hope god does

god, i need a little help today. it's a bad one. i'm tired of this pain but not of this life. i won't give up , i won't quit. my legs are on fire and i can't think clearly. it's been a bad few weeks. more pain than usual, less breaks in between. what can i do? john j dunbar helps. i can picture the tall prairie grass and the plains, the breeze blowing, the sea of grass gently waving in the warm sun, i wish i was standing there now, i don't want to cry. please help me.

emily is home now, she will help me. thank you.

i wish i had some cheese to go with this whine

I have not worked since November 22nd, 2005. That will be six months soon. That’s the longest I’ve gone without working since I was eleven years old. I used to go to work with my dad on nights, weekends, and during the Summer. He laid carpet and I would help move things, fetch tools and help pad and whatever else he needed. By the time I was thirteen I could do the work of a full grown man. It’s what men did. You worked.
I should have stopped working long before I did but I just couldn’t make my self quit. I worked for a company that may have had it’s problems but they took care of me and put food on my table for fourteen years. They kept me on longer than they should have, made allowances for me. I did my best and I have no regrets.
I’ve applied for disability, Social Security. The paperwork and what you have to go through would probably deter most people but I have no choice. My family has no money and no means of providing for me. I have a brother who I could move in with but he has his own family and his own struggles. I would be a huge burden on them. At this point in my condition I’m pretty high maintenance. If I moved in with his family my daughter would have to move back in with her mom. I wouldn’t have to put a gun in my mouth, my heart would just stop. I would just lay down and die.
The people at the Social Security office said it could be four to six months before a decision would be made if I was approved or not, and it would be at least six months before I’d see a check. I would be paid for the back months from the date I filed or from the last day I was able to work. That’s still if I’m approved, and a lot of good it will do when my house is in foreclosure and I‘ve lost everything else. I had very little money saved and a very young 401-k plan through work but we had only had it a short time and it didn’t amount to much. Income tax return helped out some but I’ve only got enough to last a few more months. I’ve been worried sick to say the least. Last week I went to my last doctor’s appointment, or I should say their last appointment and the doctor said if it was up to her I would be approved but she never knows. She just fills out the reports and turns them in, she never hears one way or the other. It did ease my mind a lot that she thought I would though. For the first time in a long time I had the feeling that everything was going to be alright. Disability won’t be much but I should be able to take care of my daughter for a few more years.
Yesterday someone who I love, a family member, not meaning to or thinking said, “You know they are going to turn you down don’t you?” “At least the first time, you’ll probably have to wind up getting a lawyer.” I said nothing and went on about my business, but I was up most of the night. every time I would doze off I would dream that I could not breathe, then when I would wake up I was having trouble breathing. Huffing like I could not get enough air. A few extra puffs from the inhaler didn’t help. So I laid there and thought about what I would do if it doesn‘t work out. I have no plan. I’m tired of worrying, I’m tired of not knowing. I’m tired of whining and complaining. I wanted a good nights sleep so I could start back on Lasix today. I don’t think that’s going to happen. I believe it’s going to be a bad day.