a moment of doubt

i had a doctors appointment today, it was hopefully the last one i needed to get my disability approved of. first off my truck would not start, my brother had to come over and exchange the battery for me and he was late. i had company just as i was getting ready to get in the shower, it was a couple of friends i had not seen in a while so it was nice but bad timing, they understood and left after a short visit. i still had time, thought i would trim my hair a bit, half way though, the clippers took a dive, wound up taking me an hour to do a 3 minute trim job, finally got ready, finally got underway and about 8 blocks from my house my truck overheats, the thermostat is climbing and climbing into the red zone. i think for some reason god did not want me to make that appointment, i even told my kid as much. i slowed down and the truck cooled off some so i kept going (this was the most important doctor visit of my life) no visit, no money, no support kid. i kept limping on, honking at people to hurry and get out of the way (i was even praying). it seemed as long as i kept moving steady the temp kept going up and down but staying out of the pullover and stop zone. i finally made it, front door parking, right on time, no waiting, an excelent doctor, everything went well and it looks promising for me to get approved. left and got down the road a ways and remembered the overheating problem, pulled over, now we had the time and i had a few jugs of water in the back, my kid filled the radiator and we continued on our way, no problem. and i realized it wasn't that god did not want me to make it, it was god got my brother there on time to fix my truck, god made it possible for me to get ready and get on my way, and god made sure i at least had enough water to make it there. god was looking out for me all of the time. for a moment i forgot that. just like all of the bad things that laid in my way my whole life, it was not god who put those thing there to test me and make me struggle or even to fail. he was the one who stood beside me, when i needed it, he was the one who stood in front of me when i needed it, he was the one who stood behind me when i needed it. he was the one who helped me get through it all, and still i forget. but my god will not spite me and leave me to my own distruction because i forget now and then. he will be there everytime to help me, and he will remind me to have faith in him even when i don't in myself. and i thank him. it's true what they say, god is good.